


Off-Season on Kata'Shin'a'in Station

by erulisse_starchild



Category: Valdemar Series - Mercedes Lackey
Genre: Alternate Universe - Space, Angst, Gen, Misses Clause Challenge, ritual suicide, soul searching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-20
Updated: 2012-12-20
Packaged: 2017-11-21 18:30:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/600827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/erulisse_starchild/pseuds/erulisse_starchild
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tarma and Kethry have been working as merchanter caravan guards. Their contract says they get three standard-months off and this is the first time they have gotten to spend their off season on Kata'shin'a'in. Kethry is worried.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Off-Season on Kata'Shin'a'in Station

**Author's Note:**

  * For [vass](https://archiveofourown.org/users/vass/gifts).



> I always found it odd that Kethry never seemed to balk at all at the idea of completely rearranging her life to help re-build Tale'sedrin.... This is my attempt to give some idea of what may have gone on in the background.
> 
> Also? Shin'a'in in space!
> 
> The characters and setting belong to Mercedes Lackey. This is her sandbox! I'm just playing in it. Please be aware that due to the subjects covered, this story contains a significant amount of light paraphrase of scenes from the novel Winds of Fate.

Tarma’s stomach gurgled unhappily. “Kethry, if you don’t tell me what’s wrong, I’m going to..... Do something unpleasant to you!”  
  
Kethry winced, “Nothing is wrong. I’m just.... a little worried is all. Nervous.”  
  
“You’re strung so tight it’s causing me indigestion, so out with it already,” Tarma growled angrily. She tried not to lose her temper with her partner since it didn’t really do either of them any good but her nerves were so frayed by now that there was no telling.  
  
Kethry sighed and took a deep breath, “This is our first down-season on Kata’shin’a’in. I... The last time we visited with Liha’irden... We were guests so they had to treat us well but.... I....”  
  
Tarma was more than a little confused now and had a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach but Kethry wasn’t done.  
  
“I promised you, and I promised the Goddess, that I would do this. And I mean to see it through. But... I feel like I still know so little about the clanspeople. What if they never fully accept me? What about my children?” Kethry sat down on the bed and started to cry.  
  
Tarma sat down next to her, “She’enedra.... I didn’t know you felt that way.”  
  
Kethry leaned against Tarma and took a deep breath, “I didn’t either. Most of the time I don’t. Most of the time it’s all so clear. I know what my part in this is and I’ve accepted it. I think that rough hyperspace transition we had on our last leg here scrambled my brain a little.”  
  
Tarma stroked Kethry’s hair, “Aiiee, that was enough to scramble anyone’s brain. I’m still not sure that my insides are all inside and I’m surprised we managed to get the horses to settle.”  
  
 _I think I might have had something to do with that...._ came the sleepy comment from Warrl who, aside from the fact that he was visibly still breathing, was spread on the deck in such a way that he resembled nothing so much as a giant fur rug.  
  
Kethry and Tarma both chuckled at that but it was Kethry who answered, “That you did. And I’m glad too. I’ve never seen the mares quite so out of sorts. Normally they are so good, even during transition.”  
  
Tarma yawned and then got what Kethry thought of as her “thinking” expression - “Back to the original subject... I think it might help if you spoke with a shaman. There are usually one or two  
in residence here and I suspect they might be better-suited to answering your concerns than I am... I can arrange it for you if you like.”  
  
Kethry nodded and yawned herself, “That sounds wise to me. It makes me nervous yet again but I can’t see many other ways to resolve this. But there’s got to be some sleep in our near future, I’ll send a message in the morning to see who’s on-station and available. Furface down there has the right idea.”

* * *

  
And so it was that Kethry found herself being welcomed into the quarters of Jo’reth shena Vuysher'edras, the shaman of Wolf-clan. Jo’reth was a lanky man of middle years who wore his long salt and pepper hair in a single braid down his back. Kethry could also sense that he was an Adept- at least her equal in power. She guessed that the only reason he hadn’t bleached completely is that he probably rarely had cause to use the node-power that would normally have bleached his hair and eyes by thirty or so.  
  
He welcomed her to his quarters with a charming smile that started to put her at ease and then with a wink proceeded to warm a cup of tea in his hands with magic and hand it to her- subtly telling her without words that unlike many of his clanspeople, he was not afraid of magic or the use of magic. He then poured himself a cup of tea out of a small pot that had been sitting on a warmer and took a sip, looking at her over the rim of his cup.  
  
“Your message was quite vague - would you care to explain a little further why I have the pleasure of your company?” Jo’reth raised an eyebrow then continued, “I mean, I’m happy to have you here but from your message I imagine you aren’t looking for drumming lessons.”  
  
Kethry chuckled slightly and took a sip of tea before she answered. It was slightly tart, flavored with some type of fruit that she didn’t quite recognize, but very refreshing, “No, you imagine correctly. I’m not seeking drumming lessons. I.... am worried. Worried that I will never be truly accepted among the clans and also worried about my children. Are you familiar with the terms of my pledge to help resurrect Tale’sedrin?”  
  
Jo’reth shook his head, “No, I think you should tell me, starting at the beginning.”  
  
Kethry took a deep breath and straightened her spine, settling herself into story-teller mode, “I first met Tarma while she was on blood-feud...”  
  
Jo’reth stopped her with a gesture, “No, I mean your beginning. Where did you come from? Who were your parents?”  
  
Kethry sighed, “I was born to the noble but impoverished house of Pheregrul on the planet Mornedealth. My parents died when I was young and when I was barely twelve, my brother sold me in marriage to a sadistic man three times my age.” Kethry went on to explain how her nurse had rescued her from Wethes Goldmarchant and then helped her find mage-training when her magic began to manifest in night-terrors. She told the story of meeting Tarma while she was a Journeyman, how they had become oath-sisters, and how together they had ended Tarma’s blood-feud.  
  
Through the entire story the shaman listened intently, nodding to show he heard and understood. Finally, she finished her tale with their most recent visit to Liha’irden- including the funny feeling she had had the entire time that while she was being given every courtesy as a guest, she was also being watched and scrutinized.  
  
When she was done, Jo’reth gave her long, odd look that she couldn’t interpret, then asked, “How long are you on the station?”  
  
“Our contract says a three standard-month rest season.”  
  
The shaman grinned, “I am on the station for another six standard-weeks myself, while my apprentice learns for herself that she is as capable of caring for our clan as I know her to be. Why don’t you come back tomorrow? I have some questions for you but I think we have both had enough to absorb for today.”  
  
Kethry nodded and smiled, Jo’reth’s charm was infectious, and even though she was still worried, she was no longer nervous around him.

* * *

  
  
“You look better, she’enedra. Less... queasy.” Tarma greeted her when she returned to their quarters.  
  
“I feel better. We didn’t actually discuss much - he asked me to tell him my story starting from the beginning and so I did. But he wants me to come back tomorrow. He says he has... questions. I’m still nervous, but more about the process and about what I might learn than about Jo’reth himself. Although he does have this way of looking at you that makes it seem like he can...”  
  
“See into your soul?” Tarma finished, chuckling. “Yes. I think they must study that along with all the history-songs.”  
  
Kethry smiled and stretched, “It’s still relatively early- maybe we should go down to the gym and see if we can get a good workout in. I think if I’m not careful, station life will have me stiff in no time.”

* * *

  
  
Kethry met with Jo’reth four more times in the two weeks that followed- twice for questions and deftly-guided soul searching, once for history and tales late into the evening, and once for the joked-about drumming lesson. At the end of the drumming lesson, Jo’reth mentioned that he was leaving the station for several days on an unspecified errand and would send her a com message when he returned. A week later she received a message from him saying that she should meet him the next night and giving a location in an unfamiliar part of the station.  
  
She asked Tarma about it and Tarma only smiled and shrugged, “It’s a shaman thing. I’ve been there before but you will certainly have a different experience than I did so asking me isn’t going to do you much good. I think that Warrl and I will haunt the bar that night. Don’t worry about us.”

* * *

  
  
Kethry could hear the hum of the life support systems in the background here, unlike in the busy market sectors. Even in their quarters there were other noises. Hmmm. She needed to stop daydreaming and focus on where she was going.  
  
The walls in this section had been painted in beautiful blue on blue geometric patterns and the corridor she needed was.... There. L-4. It was narrower than most places she had been in Kata’shin’a’in. She thought she had heard this was one of the oldest parts of the station. And there was the door at the end of the corridor. She could barely make it out in the dim light, next to the bulkhead. She was expected- Jo’reth’s message had said so- but there was no com box here, only a palm pad below a dim blue light. She pressed her hand to it and it glowed brightly for a moment then played the door-tone. Only someone had replaced the cheerful bird-whistle that was standard here with the first few beats of the drum chant she had learned in her last meeting with the shaman.  
  
After a few heartbeats, the door slid open, revealing a short sturdily-built person dressed entirely in midnight blue. Silently she was led inside, through a dim hall and into a room where many rugs hung on the walls and one rug held pride of place in the center of the floor, surrounded by cushions for sitting. Jo’reth was already waiting for her when she entered and he gestured for her to sit next to him. Once she had settled herself, she had another chance to look around and realized that the soft illumination in the gently curving ceiling came not from the artificial glow-panels that illuminated her own quarters but from starlight streaming through many small, clear panes.  
  
Jo’reth finally broke the silence by clearing his throat softly, “As you might remember from our evening of tales, once the Shin’a’in and the Tale’edras were one people, known as the Kaled’a’in, who served the Mage of Silence. I have asked you here so that you might see and know for yourself.” As he spoke, the moon began to peek through the windows above them and with a gentle twist of magic that Kethry could sense but couldn’t quite follow, Jo’reth did.... something.  
  
And Kethry found herself as an observer to another’s experience. In an instant, she knew that the one whose experiences she shared was called Ravenwing and that Ravenwing was a shaman.

  
  
 _Ravenwing sat strapped to her jumpseat on the bridge of Falcon Clan’s main herd ship. Before her on the view screen spread an image of the planet that they had once called home. The extent of the desolation was evident, including the giant crater that covered many, many miles according to their sensors, the blast that created it so powerful the bottom was fused into glass. Ravenwing  held her hands before her eyes, wishing that not-looking would change what she knew lay out there. After a few deep breaths, she removed her hands but a second viewing did not improve the situation whatsoever._  
  
 _The actual landing point was some way from the edge of the crater but even as they made their way toward the ridge of land that marked the edge of the worst of the desolation, it was obvious that this was not the once-lovely place she had known. Beneath her feet, the ground was hard and mostly bare with only the occasional tuft of sere grass poking through. Above, there was a heavy layer of cloud that blocked out most of the sunlight and as she walked through that desolate landscape, she shivered, both from the chill wind that seemed quite adept at snaking its cold tendrils beneath her coat and from the chill feeling of despair that was worming its way through her heart._

*~*~*  
  
 _She sat inside the hastily-pitched Clan Council Tent. The tent had been erected both to provide a buffer from the ceaseless wind and to block the sight of the desolation. With her sat the elders and shamans- all the leaders of all the nine clans of the Kaled’a’in._  
  
 _Kethry looked on as the Clans, with Wolf, Hawk, Grasscat, Deer Clans argued against the use of more of the magic that had brought them to this point and saw the deep division between them and the other four Clans who argued that they must not give up magic but instead use it cleanse this place and the other planets in the system that had been warped by the effects of the Cataclysm. In the end, the rift between them could not be healed and she watched through Ravenwing’s eyes as the people of Owl, Falcon, Raven, Eagle, and Fox returned to their ships and lifted off._  
  
 _Silverhorse, Elder of Hawk Clan, stood next to her, face blank as though he could not believe that the People truly had been sundered. This seemed as good a time as any to approach him._  
  
 _“Well,” she said, startling him from his trance, “There is no longer any magic amongst the People save that which the shamans hold. You have succeeded in that much.”_  
  
 _Kethry then watched as Ravenwing explained to an at turns angry and despondent Silverhorse that she and the other shamans had seen that the Clans would be sundered before the Elders would admit it and had met to seek guidance from the Powers. They had Sought and Called and She, the Star-Eyed had answered them. There was hope, there was aid for them if they would take it, but there would be a price and the price would be paid in blood._  
  
 _“Whose blood?” Silverhorse asked, no longer angry now but numb again from shock._  
  
 _“The Elder of each clan that is left,” she answered with authority, “Yours and the other three. The others are being asked the same question at this very moment.”_  
  
 _He went quiet for a moment. It was a heavy decision he was being asked to make, even though when he took the oath of Elder, he had pledged this very thing- to lay down his life for his people at need.  “And if I decline this... honor?”_  
  
 _“Then I will take your place.” Her voice was very quiet now, “It must be one or the other of us.”_  
  
 _“Leaving Hawk without a shaman.”_  
  
 _“It must be one or the other of us,” she repeated. “That is the price that the Calling named. We four Chief shamans have spoken and agreed, our apprentices are all promising but none is fit to function on their own yet. If any of the chiefs must go, that clan must live without a shaman until an apprentice is ready.” She stepped away and turned, about to go, “Come to me by moonrise with your decision.”_  
  
 _He stopped her with a hand on her shoulder, “I do not need until moonrise. It is not such a difficult decision after all.” His tone threatened to make her heart shatter and then he smiled- a sweet smile, with no trace of fear. “When will you require me?”_  
  
 _*~*~*_  
  
 _It took a full Moon for the four Clans to position themselves around the crater - one at each cardinal direction. It was hardest for Grass Cat as they made a full half-circle to position themselves in the West._  
  
 _At sunset, in whatever way they chose, each of the four Elders gave their lives for their people. Silverhorse simply stepped off the ridge that surrounded the crater, vanishing into the dimness below without even a sigh._  
  
 _Ravenwing stood on the edge of the cliff above where he had fallen, arms raised to the sky and prayed to the Powers with every fiber of being. Behind her the people of Hawk Clan, from the oldest grandfather to the tiniest infant, had arranged themselves in a semi-circle and added their prayers to hers. And as the moon rose, She came._  
  
 _She changed from moment to moment - lively Maiden, wise Crone, graceful Warrior, nurturing Mother. She filled the whole sky, and yet she stood before Ravenwing and looked deeply into the shaman’s soul with eyes that had no color but were instead like the night sky filled with stars and swirling galaxies._  
  
 _Kethry was filled with Ravenwing’s awe and listened with her ears as the Goddess spoke, “I have heard your prayers, even as I have heard the prayers of your sundered kin and there is a price to be paid for what you ask.”_  
  
 _“In blood?” someone asked quietly._  
  
 _Ravenwing recognized the voice as that of Azurestar, the shaman of Grass Cat, and marveled in wonder because she could hear his soft voice as clearly as if he stood next to her or spoke to her over a com._  
  
 _“Not in blood,” came the Goddess’s answer.  “In your lives- all of you. I shall give you back your homeland but the price is vigilance.”_  
  
 _The Star-Eyed went on to explain that three things had brought the devastation they saw before them - the destructive spell of an enemy, the destruction of the Portals they had used to flee the system, and the Final Strike of their master Urtho’s death- meant to remove his enemy even as he himself died- and that even now there remained remnants of the weapons that Urtho had developed but that since the People had forsworn magic they would not be tempted to use that  which they guarded._  
  
 _As She explained this, she held cupped in her hands a small version of the crater they all faced and She continued to speak, explaining that the price of the return of their homeland was vigilance. This land would be called the Dhorisha Shin’a - the Plains of Sorrow- and they the Shin’a’in. They were to allow no outsiders to land on the planet, save those who pledged themselves to the clans or were allies that the shamans would call on Her to judge. Those allies She would mark in ways that they would recognize. Never again would the People pledge themselves to an overlord, swearing instead only to the Powers and to one another. She also explained that since they had forsworn magic, only the shamans would be allowed to wield that power among the Clans and any child who was born with the power of magic would be given the choice of becoming a shaman themself,going to join their Tale’ederas kin-cousins, or allowing their magic to be sealed off by Her through a shaman._  
  
It was a heavy price to pay but Kethry could feel clearly Ravenwing’s assent and the assent of all the people, both those surrounding the shaman and those of the other Clans. So too could the Star-Eyed, for She smiled. “It is well,” She said, Her voice resonating deeply within Ravenwing’s mind and heart and She began to walk Westward- a carpet of green grass, trees, and flowers springing up behind Her as She went.  
  
As Kethry slowly came back to awareness of herself, she realized that tears were flowing freely down her cheeks and she felt both drained both emotionally and spiritually. Jo’reth next to her sat still yet, breathing even and calm, though when he opened his eyes and looked at her, she could tell that he had not been unaffected.

The shaman finally broke the silence by remarking conversationally, “Ravenwing was a formidable woman, was she not? I have always been impressed at the way she managed to record not only her memories of those dark days but also her emotions.”  
  
Kethry took a great gulping breath and nodded, “I’m beginning to get a sense of the larger picture.”  
  
“I had hoped you would. That was indeed the reason I asked you here. I hope that you will also ponder whether this is a cause you feel that you can give your life to- yours and those of your children who would choose it freely for themselves. The Star-Eyed does not demand service of the unwilling. I know that it is a difficult question but I would encourage you to sleep on it. It does not need an answer now.”  
  
Kethry looked up at the ceiling where the moon hung large above them for several long moments and then back at the shaman, “I do not need to sleep on it. It is not such a difficult decision after all.” And she smiled at him sweetly, without a trace of fear.

**Author's Note:**

> As I mentioned up top, the section describing Ravenwing's memories is a light paraphrase of scenes from the novel Winds of Fate by Mercedes Lackey.


End file.
